Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Good night

The house feels crisp and cool tonight. I'm basking in the kind of comfort that only a good quilt and mug of hot tea can bring and am thinking about a hot shower before bed.

I've been a big ball of emotions for the past few days. It's a yarn ball...the kind you want to unravel yet find nothing but layer upon layer of absolute mess the longer you work with it.

I gave my PLP (that's platonic life partner, guys) some terrific advice yesterday when she was feeling overwhelmed. "You have to let something go," I said. That's some solid advice...advice I have yet to take for myself.

But on the days when I feel well rested I find myself thriving on the chaos. It's one of the things I got from my mom that I don't necessarily count as something horrible to have...the longing for craziness in my life. If it weren't for it I probably wouldn't have three children that call me mommy.

Wonderful, silly, ridiculous children

with their freckles, dimples, stickiness and down right glorious giggles.

It's funny how you can feel overwhelmed and like you just can't stand any more then Katy Perry comes on your television and it all feels not just okay but....right? It's the Katy effect.......better than paying money out of pocket for therapy. Katy Perry in leopard print. Emotional healing.

Then there's community and having places where you can go to feel whole. And it doesn't matter if you find yourself sitting alone surrounded by dozens of people having their conversations, filling the air with laughter. Because you have your giant mug of warm caffeine and know that sometimes being alone by yourself is really all that you need.

I was asked by someone today if I could pinpoint the thing that people got from them. And I think I finally have an answer.

Just. You.

No one has a life that's identical to someone else's and it's really beautifully poetic when you stop to think about it. Some lives run parallel at times, but then we all verge onto our own paths until they meet up again.

We've all had different experiences that have taught us different lessons. Even the same experience can teach two people something completely different. And those lessons don't only benefit us but those around us if we're willing to open up and share every once in a while.

Sometimes it's a funny story. Sometimes it's a story that moves someone to tears. Sometimes it's nothing but staying completely silent and a furrow of the brow to show concern. That happens to be one I'm really skilled at. I've never been much for words but have mastered the furrowed brow.

The thing my brain is trying to tell you while I'm up way past what should be my bedtime is that we all have wisdom and good things to give. And it doesn't always have to be obvious does it? My favorite grocery store here is one filled with fancy cheese and a truly magnificent bakery. Their prices are somewhere between Crest and Whole Foods...a nice almost comfortable middle ground I can venture to when longing to be spoiled. It's the smiles. Everyone there is always smiling. They talk to my kids...they talk to Cory about his Doctor Who shirt...they have halfway decent sushi that won't land you on a toilet for hours on end. Those people in that grocery store? Sometimes they make my day.

And that's what they have to give. Just themselves.

Now I give you picture dump for posterity from our weekend in my favorite town last weekend. It was beautiful and I, once again, was energized by the craziness of it all.


Sleep well, friends. 


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