Thursday, September 19, 2013

Stormy weather

Stormy days always make me feel a tad bit uneasy. There's something unsettling about it being dark at 2:30 in the afternoon. I go around my house flipping on all the lights, turning something on to fill the place with noise...

It's still terribly unsettling for me to not have the kids here with me during the day but I'm learning to cope and be alone again.

Tomorrow I start a second job. (Third if you count the random weekend photo shoots)
It's just all part of trying desperately to stay afloat.
I won't lie..the past few months have been some of the most difficult we've had financially but most days I'm able to camouflage the stress with massive amounts of love and optimism.
Some moments are more difficult though and we find ourselves feeling crushed under the pressure.

Everything will be really will...

There are just those raw feelings that float to the surface without me even knowing they're coming.
Feelings of jealousy, anger, frustration and..well..lots of anger.

During those times I find it safest to hunker down like you're waiting for a storm to pass.
I grab mini candy bars, (hi, stress eating leading to no more weight loss) make hot tea and begin the tedious task of distracting myself with whatever will work at that moment..a book, a movie, cleaning the bathroom again..

Once the storm's passed through the air will smell amazing and the sun will feel so warm on my skin.
I'm ready...

Oh and by the way...

Happy birthday, Hermione.


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