lately

then 5 months passed by after someone found the fast forward button to my life and barely gave me time to breathe through it all.

cory took a big life changing trip and got hired on as a staff member at the uco library. while on a lot of levels a good opportunity the hours aren't anywhere near as many as we need yet we manage to limp along as usual.
the kids started school. it's going beautifully.
i took on a new job for a wonderful new friend and am staring a second one in the face so we can stay afloat til better opportunities open up on the job front for cory.
i lost 42 pounds & am trying to keep up the momentum, despite the desire to go bake chocolate chip muffins right now & eat every single one of them.

and that barely scratches the surface.

i don't know if this is a permanent return to blogging or one more blip on the radar that will more than likely continue to appear once every few months....

but for now i'm considering it therapy.

my life consists of all these daily chores and routine things that i never assumed i would do, even after we had the kids. i never pictured myself as one of those moms who would be dropping her kids off at school with the masses. yet the further along i get in this whole crazy new life we've built the more i realize that being a conventional school mom is something i'm really good at.

i adore packing their lunches and slipping little notes inside, complete with my sloppy monsters drawn peeping out of corners.
i adore brushing faith's beautiful hair each morning and being so grateful that she still lets me do it.
the quiet mornings with just otto before i take him to afternoon pre-k are so precious.
and seeing them all holding hands, walking out to the car together to be picked up each day? that's the stuff i wouldn't give up for all the baked goods in the world.

i have to learn to be okay with letting go..with admitting that i couldn't do it all on my own. i worship the ground that every single person working in that school walks on. they're the mightiest of people with hearts of gold and the patience of saints doing the jobs that most of us will fully admit we could never do.

i have so many thoughts in my head tonight. a lot of them revolve around money...mostly just the stress that comes with not having enough.

but for the most part i feel at peace. the only sounds i hear are the air conditioners humming and the shower head dripping from the bathroom. i used to be the girl who needed constant noise...a tv, a radio....these days i crave quiet. and pie. always pie.

you few that read here help keep me sane and grounded. and for that i can't thank you enough. here's hoping i can find the headspace to have something to say more often.