Wednesday, December 12, 2012

christmas when you're broke

it's trying to make memories that don't require dozens of gifts under the tree.

it's making as many gifts as you can from the things you have laying around.

it's hoping that they'll hold onto the memories of making hot chocolate from a mix they made themselves, eating cookies i made them from scratch and won't remember the lack of extravagant gifts.

it's being grateful that the grandparents always go overboard, and trying not to feel like total shit because they only have 2 presents each to open from us.

it's stuffing their stockings with dollars trinkets and hoping that will help things feel more full.

it's knowing that you strive every day to teach them that love and kindness are oh so important, and that things don't really matter in the end.

all these thoughts have been running through my head after talking with friends who had about 20 dollars to spend on each of their kids.

every time i talk to my mom lately she commends me on being tough & not complaining about our financial situation. and the thing is that i actually feel fortunate most of the time.

we have what we need. we can never be homeless. and we have more time to spend together than most families do.

i wouldn't trade this for a life of cory being gone all the time, only seeing him for half an hour each day, the kids never knowing what it's like to lounge on the couch in the afternoon and watch movies with him.

but at times like christmas it makes the life we've chosen a tad more difficult.

i'm having to force myself to focus on the good. our beautiful tree, the hand me down decorations that make me smile because of their history, the fact that my kids ask to watch "nightmare before christmas" at least once a day.

my house is warm, my fridge is full of delicious junk food, and we can afford toilet paper.

what more can a girl ask for really?


  1. You know what? I have heard you say you are poor many times, but every time I pop over, I always think you are rich.

    Rich isn't always about money, is it?