smart. i am.

life is a never ending circle of something err something that means something that makes you go "wowwww that was deep" and repeat it to everyone you know while simultaneously posting them to all your social media.

i'm not a very deep person. pretty house pretty tree syndrome. is that a real thing? because it's what cory tells me i have.

i married a really smart guy. and sometimes that comes back to bite me in the ass.

growing up with a mom whose third language is english and a dad who's a redneck from muskogee, oklahoma means i have like the worst grammar ever. i say y'all, call my kids darlin' and sugar, and use words that i think are really smart & shit that actually mean something completely different.

it's a problem.

and it's only a problem because i'm an extremely self conscious person. to be laughed at ruins my entire day. which probably means i'm emotionally imbalanced. not really all that surprising.

cory made this really genius comic worthy of its own graphic novel with our friend tessa. in it he describes his most embarrassing moment. my most embarrassing moment? it involves my first day of junior high, the day after aunt flo appeared for the very first time, period blood and a denim jumper. i haven't made a comic worthy of its own graphic novel detailing my most embarrassing moment. because it's tragic is why. it's even too tragic for a humorous montage in a judd apatow movie.

then this one time when i was a budding pre-teen who knew nothing about boys my best friend had me stand look out outside her bathroom while she did god knows what with a boy in the shower stall. that basically sums up my entire adolescence. clueless third wheel.

see? self conscious. not really all that surprising.

it's so funny to me that a naive, prude little private school girl grew up to be, well, me.

the woman who shaved her head & not her legs for a good solid year just to make people uncomfortable.
the woman whose mother would disown her if she knew just how liberal she is.
pro-choice, pro-gays, pro-people are allowed to make their own fucking decisions. it's shocking, right?
i mean...in high school & the first year of college i definitely had a hoodie that said "abortion is homicide".
when i think about that girl who wore that thing it makes me wanna punch her in the tit.
how insensitive was i? i mean, really. i wish i could write everyone who ever had to see that a lengthy apology including footnotes on my childhood.

and i no longer try to pretend like i'm a deep thinking philosopher of life & all.

that was so community college...

i know what's important to me.
i know the kind of children i want to raise.
i know i like bacon.
i know i love to drink beer.
i know i will always picture my things in other people's houses.
i know my family is better than anyone else's.
and i know all these things define who i am as a person.

and for some reason it felt really important to write all that down today.